Nostalgic Classwork

Today I decided to learn a piano piece. It’ll probably take a very long time to learn it completely, and by then I’ll be in Europe. And who wants to spend their time indoors playing piano when they’re already in Europe, eh? Maybe I do! In the evenings, when staying inside is as good as it gets.

I was digging through my closet for the power cord (to my electronic keyboard), and in the process, decided to clean it up a bit. I went through all my Berkeley boxes to get rid of papers I don’t think I needed anymore. I thought to myself, “I’ll never find a use for these again, so it’s better to get rid of them and free up some space.”

But as I looked at the papers, all the memories of working hard to finish assignments came back. And I had so many assignments! It’s pretty encouraging to think I was capable of THAT much work. I don’t usually think about schoolwork these days. It felt harder to throw paper away. I ended up saving a bunch of the beginning, but gradually became able to throw away papers.

I had spent 4 years at Berkeley! Why does it seem so many worlds away? So long ago?

Coincidentally, I’ll be visiting Berkeley and some friends this weekend. Berkeley seems like another lifetime for me. I’m too wrapped up in my current state.

On another note, I can’t get my programs working. This is probably the first time that it’s happened in research for me. Usually, things are hard, or I just need to learn it. Now I’m at a roadblock – I have NO clue how to proceed to fix my program. Everything I’ve written makes sense. The part I can’t debug is hidden in a black box.

I feel like the kid who lost his quarters in the vending machine and can’t do anything about it.

But if there’s one thing I learned doing all of this, eventually I’ll get it, and move forward. But for now, it’s kind of irritating since I need to have some good results because there is a talk this Thursday. Maybe I need to try harder. I have been taking it easy. I mean…I was playing the piano today…I’m not supposed to have time for things like this…

I had a really relaxing weekend, first time in a LONG time.

Best Picture at Today’s Oscar’s

Slumdog Millionaire.

I was on the verge of tears when the camera zoomed to one of the kids smiling.

That win is for you, kids. For you, who have not experienced a life outside deep poverty. For you, who must face the daily hardships that we privileged find so unbelievable.

Then again, you weren’t acting all that much, were you? Now you’re going back to your old life, leaving this dwarfed Oscar experience behind you… but this win was worth if it did some good, if it was able to get someone to do something about your circumstances…

Schucks

Proof I’m still a hopeless …

Kids of Slumdog Millionaire

In my previous post on Slumdog Millionaire I talked about how I wanted to see the child actors more. This article:

http://indiefilm.movies.yahoo.com/article-6-/

makes me ONLY want to see them. The adult Jamal and Latika can take their seat in the back. These kids are the real deal. They were such good actors because they weren’t really acting all that much.

Deja Vu

I tend to get the sensation of deja vu more often when I take naps during the day. This evening, I just got it.

But this post is about the movie, Deja Vu, which played tonight, starring my main man Denzel Washington. There’s alot of complaining that’s to be said about the science of the story, but I thought it held itself well. I was thrilled by this thriller to the last moment. Never saw the story coming. A good movie! Denzel strikes again!

Somewhere in Time

I’m glad they chose to play this movie on Valentine’s day. It’s so sweet and hopelessly romantic. I stole a scene from this movie for a film I made awhile back.

I really admire Christopher Reeve’s skill as an actor.

My New Apartment in France

So I have an address in France already. It’s in the city of St. Genis, one of the closer cities to CERN. People usually live in either France or Switzerland when they work at CERN, which is largely dependent upon their preference. I hear Switzerland is more urban, while the France side is more rural-like. In both cases, it seems the France side is cheaper, so many people choose to live there.

St. Genis is on the French side. I can’t say much else about it, since of course I haven’t been there. I’ve heard that although washing machines are common, dryers are not. This apartment doesn’t happen to have one. I have some pictures of the insides – the kitchen is quite small, but the living room seems comfy. The bedroom is just enough room to sleep and a dresser.

It’s about a 30 min walk to work (beautiful scenery I’m told), but how much will that last through bitter cold or rainy days? Luckily, there’s a bus stop right outside my door. Most people bike to work at CERN.

The point of getting an apartment before I arrive is so I can live somewhere when I get there. Sometimes people arrive and start looking for places, while they stay in hostels, hotels, or friends’ living rooms. So, this may not be a final address for me, but at least it will be for the first month or so. Heck, I may even love the place and decide to live there for the time I’m there.

But the bottom line is I won’t spend too much time finding a place while I’m still in the US. It probably makes more sense to visit it first to make a good decision.

I’m moving to France. Wow. I would have never thought I’d say that if you asked me more than a year ago.

Slumdog Millionaire

I should get back into the habit of posting. There’s really no other creative writing outlet, and I think it’s healthy to keep something like this going.

I had a whirlwind of traveling during the past month, which I can’t really get into now. It just takes too much effort. Probably some pictures on facebook would be enough. Although, at some point, it would be extremely nice to write down my thoughts on the events.

Today I want to write about Slumdog Millionaire. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t seen a movie in so long, but Slumdog Millionaire was one of the most intense movie experiences I’ve been to.

I mainly wanted to write about who deserves acting credit. To put my thoughts into perspective, I had only been out of Vietnam for a week. I spent 3 weeks in Vietnam, so I was familiar with poverty/developing country scenery. In the movie, the kids come from slums. I had memories of kids from Vietnam- beggers, vendors, and other jobs which require street-smart survival skills. I thought the movie portrayed the lifestyle pretty accurately. Especially the restroom scene, where Jamal finds a way out of the locked port-o-potty to get an autograph. I would think, a kid in real life, whose life knew only such hardships, would go to such lengths.

On a side note, I feel really sorrowful for living conditions in Vietnam. I don’t know if I can improve the situation as much as I want to, but all I can do is feel extremely sad. Moving on…

When I see award ceremonies or interviews, it’s usually the adult version of Jamal and Latika that show up. It’s definitely the two younger versions of them, and the youngest especially, that deserves the credit. They are the ones who stole my heart, and they are the reason why I like Jamal and Latika so much. Without them, the movie wouldn’t have been as beautiful as it was. When I look at adult Jamal, all I think about is what young Jamal had been through. It’s the kids who did all the work. So I hope we stop seeing more of the adults and more of the kids.

Another thing. This next part requires one to have already seen the movie. So come back later if you haven’t seen it!

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It didn’t have to end happily. Jamal gets everything – the million dollars and the love of his childhood.

After all his hardships, he finally gets a huge break. It didn’t have to be like this, and I would have still loved the movie. I could probably love it more.

Why did the director/screenwriter decide to make things work out for Jamal in the end? They worked so hard to realistically potray the ugly side of the world, and they ruined it by dipping into fantasy. It doesn’t make the story any better just because Jamal gets everything. What would make the story better is to see what would realistically happen to him, and let us all wonder how life truly works out. And let life work out the way it does, Jamal can deal.

Millionaire or not, with Latika or not, we still love him. We know what he’s been through. We know his actions are for survival. We’ll still celebrate what it means to be human, and we don’t need him to use his last lifeline to call his childhood love, and eventually reunite with her while being rich beyond his dreams.

So, kid Jamal won my heart. And so did all the other unfortunate people in Vietnam who were born into a life they can’t move up from.

Key to Happiness

is surrounding yourself with love.

But now where’s the door?

Two years ago, I went to Vietnam. I noticed that although people were generally poor, they were more loving than Americans. This Wednesday, I go for 3 weeks. A pause in my research, but a breath of life.

Physicists like to quote famous physicists. Since I aspire to be a physicist, let me start by quoting Richard Feynman, one of the most competent physicists of the last century who arguably understood all the hoopla about spending one’s life searching for truth:

“Physics isn’t the most important thing. Love is.”

So there you have it, I can spend my life searching for the ultimate truth of nature, when it’s not even the most important thing!

Absorption

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’ve become extremely engrossed in my project, that I’ve let some other aspects of my life slide. Namely, my humanity.

This occured to me when I was walking in Costco and I picked up a book called “The Longest Trip Home.” I couldn’t put it down. I so desparately want to read it. It reminds me of the warmth of the human spirit. I used to be aware of this, as I recall.

In any case, the fruits of my labor are starting to show up. Indeed, I’ve only just started my labor, but there are already paybacks. I’m to give a talk in Chicago in mid-January. I should really consider my chance to meet professionals as my payback, but in fact, it’s the experience of a week in Chicago that I’m going gaga over.

It’s only 2 days after Vietnam. So I’m heading into Chicago, into very cold weather, the likes of something I’ve never experienced before.

On the other hand, I want to get back my humanity. I’m going to by that book, and also another book by the same author – John Grogan. He also wrote another book called Marley and Me, which is movie coming out this Christmas.

He writes non-fiction, and I think I’ve fallen in love with his writing style.

In any case, I need to become more self-absorbed. I need to do things to make my spirit more fulfilling. I need to remember my humanity.